Sunday, October 30, 2005

More info about me as an Artist....

Since some of you have asked me about my Artwork "history" I thought I'd share a bit with you. This is one of my drawings from way back that I managed to save from a flood in the house I lived in 8 years ago when I was married. The heating water filled pipes in the attic burst in the winter when they froze. I lost over half of my lifetimes Artwork as they were in an upper closet on the top of it. It was pretty devastating to me. I received "compensation" through an Insurance co. but it doesn' t really "heal" the loss. The drawing below still has damage and some others also that I have. Others were lost completely. Thanks to the help of computer technology I have been able to learn how to repair some of the water spots and other damages with some of them, and then make prints of them. By learning how to do this I also ended up learning how to repair damaged and or old photos people have, photos that are "precious" to them. Its been quite an interesting "trade off" learning all this. I have had 3 showings of my Artwork portrait drawings throughout my life. The last time was long long ago. Now my dream one day is to show "all" of my lifetimes work (from beginning to end) to "the world" in kind of like a "biography history" in a fairly famous Art Gallery somewhere. I"ve done some painting but really not into that as I love the drawing and fine lined work much more "Me". I've been drawing since I was about 8 years old, it started out with drawing horses then in time changed to people's faces. I love drawing the eyes and trying to "show a feeling" in them and something in the expression of the face that people might "pause" to "ponder" what is being said through the drawing itself. I've been ripped off a lot by some and not good experiences in selling my Artwork in the past. So I "dream" one day to find someone that I can trust, another Artist, a "trusted" manager, or a professional dealer who is honest and trustworthy and will work "with me" not rip me off or take advantage of me and all my hard work. I am not much of a "salesperson" in dealing with my work (because I'm an Artist!) so I hope and dream "one day" my "dream" will come true! When its the right time I hope!..I have other dreams also but won't bore you with those details right now!..ha ha.. If you scroll all the way through my September archives you will see 6 more of my Artwork portrait drawings, if you haven't already. For this is definitely not my best, but one a relative recently found and sent to me.
Click to enlarge

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Keeper of Time...

Click to enlarge

My Prayer Altar..

This just kind of helps me "calm" before I do my little "affirmations" really does help to have a special the candles and all...and putting all your "little special things" out on display.. anyone can do it.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Fashion clothes I displayed and sold..

Well a few pics of my fashion display turned out pretty good, but when scanned them they were so dark so tried to put more light on photo express so you could see them better..but didn't turn out as well on pc as I had hoped. You just had to be there to get the full affect!. The short tailored jacket that looks black in the pic is actually dark grape color (so pretty!) with a violet cami underneath. Then there is the very light sea blue "India hippie" type sheer top that has a little shiny blue stone sewn in on the front top, with shiny gold triming. You can't really see the detail in the pic. You can wear it alone (it has lining) or with the short tailored torquoise velvet jacket over it. Then the light blue cami with a dark torquoise shrug type knit sweater over the top of it. The black and rose top is empire and very sheer, with a lining and with shiny sparkly little beads all over the top you can't see in the pic at all. It ties in the back and has flowing sleeves. The red empire type top is actually a maroon cranberry like color, its silklike with a rope wood beaded necklace that is sewn on the neckline which you tie in the back. Very cool! It has slits on both sides of the top of sleeves. The "Tye dye" red, blue and light gold top also has the rope beaded necklace sewn in and ties around back of neck. The black blouse with long sleeves has a pretty blue and silver brooch pin in the middle top part and little light blue beads near the lower middle of the blouse. The Red jacket doesn't look as good as it does in "person" its a hot jacket! zips up and few snaps at top of zipper and it is very tailored slim in the waist, its kind of canvassy shiny and very comfy! I tried to show the mix and match how you can change some of them around, make different outfits and layering with a few of these tops and shrugs interchanging. I love putting this stuff together its part of my "creativity" deal..All very feminine. This is only showing the side of the rack displayed not all the clothes on the rack..50 all on the rack! I also had jewerly and scarves layed out that would mix and match with all of them, etc. ..That way when the buyer buys them she can display them out in those kind of ideas and have the accesseries nearby or on display on the clothing themselves. Some of this was for fall and the rest for next spring. I had some dresses also but the pics didn't turn out. Anyway out of the 50 she bought 40 of them!...yeah!..but man did I have to work fast to put it altogether and trying to set up a time with her to come, thank goodness I had things "organized" in my head already so it went pretty fast setting it up! So sorry if they don't look so great in the pics you just had to be there to get the real "picture"..but since I promised I would post some pics to give you an idea of what I sell here and "deal" here they are!. Click on pics to enlarge them.


Sunday, October 23, 2005

What do you think?...

This is my front porch. I took the photo just recently with my camera (not digital) and I'm wondering if anyone else see's anything interesting in this pic other then just reflections? This has happened at rare times in other places I have lived when I have taken photos inside, but rarely outside like this one.. Doesn't happen often but it does happen. Is it just a fluke or what? Or is it just my imagination? May never know. Click on the pic to enlarge it.

A long long time ago in my early 20's the family dog had just passed on and a few days later I took two photos of the corner where she used to lay and sleep all the time in the living room of the family house. I'm not sure why I did it but just felt something inside wanting to do that. When I got the photo's back, in those two pics there was like a "white light" cloud exactly where she used to sleep. Everyone noticed it and thought how very strange and ironic....hmmm..we thought it might still be her "prescence" her soul still around. Of course my radical religious mother thought it was "the devils work". Does anyone believe animals have souls too?

Simple Wonder

Obivously I wrote this one in the Spring..:o) in time
take time to sit
upon my front porch steps
Listening to the echoes
of a train in the distance...

Birds chirping
and cooing..
the sun,
making water from the pond
ripple with moving shadows and light,
on the cement walk..
ants crawl between the cracks
going about their business.

Deep blue of the sky...
a white whispy cloud
moves by....
I watch it as it passes,
changing into different forms
and shapes,.
through the tall trees
that make for shade
upon the grass beneath....

The pansy flowers
deep red
deep violet....
rich colors
that compliment the sky.

The breeze flows by
lightly lifting tendrils of my hair
across my face..
trees bend
towards the wind...
bee's buzzing by
searching for the brightly colored yellow flowers
they love the best..

The brightly colored glass stones
around the cement pond
the sun shimmering them
to a glorious iridescent aqua, torquoise and green.

These are all the things
I see, feel and know...
just by sitting
on my front porch steps
in quiet...
and looking around me
in simple wonder.

By Rhiannon

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Please check this blog out..

You will find great talent and wisdom from one so young if you click on " Celestial Void" on my links. What he has written of late is fantastic reading and inate wisdom of the Humaness of "Spirit"..and "peoplekind". Every time I read his posts I am more amazed at his wisdom for one so young..and the way he writes is incredible! He is definitely an "old soul"...


Loved in fear...poem

Will this endless restlessness
in my heart ever subside?
Was it a dream?
Not real?
other then in the boundaries
of my timeless
gypsy soul?

I loved you...
you said you loved me too..
but you could not handle it
in your fear..
I saw it in your eyes...
you coudn't risk it you said..
it was too good to be true you said..
not realizing
that I too
was fearful
of getting hurt myself...
But you ran..and never looked back.

Love can sometimes be a confusing thing
it twists and turns
and rips your heart
into a mass
of confusion
of questions
never answered
let alone addressed..
I'm a mess......

Why does it have to be this way?
Why must I always be the brave one?
To speak up?
its time
for another tortured soul
to recognize
that mine is also.

By Rhiannon....written December 2001

Capes of Colors..poem...

Capes of colors
cover my abscence
of discovery...
newly born
but unadorned
in darkest embers
nestling upon my breast
heart beating
shining through
moonglow and candlebright..
passions energy
embraced at midnite..

I've felt your world
your deep sinister cruelty
in subtle ways...
but your passion was intense..
only to flow
through and out
to dishonest halls
of fearful rejection
in your absence of clarity
never to be seen again
you walked away forever
in a casual tone
of muted grey indifference...

I cover myself
with capes of colors
to protect me
from your darkness.

By Rhiannon

Monday, October 17, 2005

Eleanor Roosevelt drawing...

Copyrights owned by me...

Words of Wisdom...

Sorry I don't have the names of most who quoted these, it wasn't available. Except Eleanor Roosevelt, one of my mentors, of course. Thats her in her younger days above. Its one of my drawings.

1. No one can ever make you feel inferior without your consent...Eleanor Roosevelt
2. Don't ever let anyone make you feel like you don't deserve what you want...Eleanor Roosevelt
3. Sometimes what you want isn't always what you get, but in the end, what you got is so much better than what you wanted.
4. In order to avoid criticism do nothing.
5. The best memories are the ones you can't explain (you just had to be there)
6. Never forget what they did to you, but never let them know you remember.
7. Blessed be they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.
8. I don't know what the key to success is but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.
9. A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval...Mark Twain
10. Go and do what you want be who you are....cause when you die they're not going to carve anything into your gravestones about your sensible jobs.
11. My greatest sin has always been that I have a wonderful time being myself.
12. You just have to learn to forget about the people that forgot about you.
13. Trust being yourself..being who you are is a successful rebellion.
14. Courage is what it takes to stand and speak up...courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.
15.The opposite of bravery is not cowardice, but conformity.
16. You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something...Winston Churchell
17. Strength is nothing more than how well you hide your pain.
18. If ignorance is bliss, I'd rather be unhappy.
19. Don't put your friends on the back burner.
And last but not least something on a piece of white carboard I cut out and wrote these words. I've carried it with me from place to place wherever I've lived in the last 7 years, and put it on my refrigerator. Its gotten so worn that the pink marker I wrote it with is fading so I can hardly read it. I don't know who wrote it but its gotten me through many troubled and difficult times.
20. Courage is not the abscence of fear....its doing what it takes, despite one's fears.

Friday, October 14, 2005

The Children...

How can a child know or understand the words "stability", "safe", "secure", "loved", "protected" or a balancing and loving environment? How can they when they are surrounded by chaos? Parents casting them aside or away? Moms and dads working too hard, or addicted to busy, or just too "addicted" period. Stressed, unable to give of themselves to their children. Teaching their children how to be rude by their own example. Those cherished times, those "special moments" never to be?

Foster kids thrown into more chaos, the foster mother and father too busy selling, buying, or making drugs. Sending the kids out of the house while they selfishly drink and drug themselves to death. Where and how do these "so called grown up adults" manage to acquire these children that need a loving, nurturing home?...only to be thrown into "another" chaotic crazy messed up life of someone else's creation? All those years in my past trying to have a child, never for it to happen and yet I now feel as if I am surrounded by these children who seem drawn to me, knowing my heart is still open, my spirit free and that they can talk to me. It just kind of happened naturally through the years...maybe its because I can understand and relate to what they are going through in some ways and I don't deny them in their sadness and I'll dance with them too! I love it and so do they! Kids are so smart, much more then we give them credit for, they know whats going on. I sometimes wish that I could just hug and hold each and every single one of them, just for a moment and tell them "your loved, your special, you are a unique and beautiful person and everything is going to be "okay" so "Shine on"!...

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Heaven's Gate...

I'm having a real hard time now so didn't really want to post and be too negative. Its funny how some people think that just by the way you look on the outside or being a good loving caring person that you rarely have troubles or pain and your life is just "WONDERFUL"! Not! Its very hurtful because apperances can be so deceiving! Tomorrow a couple are coming to town to take me out to lunch. My real only true friends that I can trust, and they know they can trust me for sure! What a treat for me their visit! Its been a few months. I'm so used to being on my own all the time and not necessarily because I chose this believe me. Yes I'm independent but thats different. Won't get into detail. This couple well I call them my adopted mom and dad and they call me their adopted daughter. They are from the next town I used to live in when I was married. I think tomorrow will probably be the best most warm good heartfelt day for me in a long long time. They are senior citizens age 75 and the husband 84. Both strong people with lots of heart and inner strength. They are the only people that have been there for me supportive encouraging me on that "you can do it "B"!..since my divorce 7 years ago. I love them and they love me. The only ones who tell me how proud they are of me with all the hell I've been through all these years. I would do anything for them. They give me encouragement to go on and live my life. Sometimes I feel that I have turned the other cheek so much through much of my life that it should be on fire by now! Anyway instead of going on with the "woe is me" I'll just write what I wrote in my journal. One more thing thought I would like to leave you with though is this. I know having a family and the burdens that are hard that come with it, but I would just like to say if there is any caring any love there, any kind of "connection" however small it may be, DO NOT LET IT GO! I have no real family and I have no kids (yet I love kids and they me)but I wanted kids and tried for years in the past. There are such "voids" in my life. People at my age can say the most hurtful "assumptions" to you about that, being a lady my age that looks much younger then she really is.....I'm used to it, the total "false assumptions and judgments" about me. Anyway love your friends appreciate that they are there for you and any family you may have that acknowledges you don't let it go! Because many of us come from the most horrendous families you can ever imagine, and yes we are survivors.

Heavens Gate

When your laying there
gasping your last breath
I won't be there...
when your whispering your last "good-bye" to family
I won't be there...
I won't see your face
I won't hear what you say..
No I won't be there..
It's been almost 25 years now
hard to believe..
Since I had to walk away from all the dsyfunction
all the beatings..the yelling, the constant screaming
the inability to have emotions, love or feelings....
me, the "so called Black sheep" that spoke up
and "felt"......
You made the judgment call
you made the choice
and so did I...

You never even heard me
or asked me
you never heard my voice
you "assumed" and "gossiped"
behind my back all these years..
never knowing anything about me or my life...
Over 900 miles away..
all these years...
I am nothing to you...I don't exist to you..
I am not your daugther...
its such a void in my life
I watch others with family..
and sometimes I cry...

I would not "submit" to your religious dogma torture..
I'm evil I'm going to hell you always said..
You never cared...
how you tried to break me..
you wanted to kill my soul
but you never succeeded...

After 9/11 I reached out..
I tried and tried
I reached out through the years
to no avail...
I took risk
and all I got was tears..
I never existed to you anymore..
did I ever really?

You all assumed
you all never knew....
who I am....

So no when your gasping your last breath
to say good-bye
I won't be there
for I'm not "allowed"
I'm not "invited"...
But I promise you
when you find yourself standing in that bright light
and you start walking through it
you will see me with the Angels
standing there from afar
waiting for you......
for you see I left the world
before you did....
and you never even knew..

I'm not going to spell check this out for I'm crying a bit and need to go...

I bet a lot of you are surpised...people usually are...whether in person or on the pc their always "stunned" that I don't have this "wonderful life" all the time just because of how I look on the "outside"...

I am sorry if I made anyone sad....that wasn't my intention...thanks for reading this..

Angel Blessings,

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Happy Autumn!

Hi everyone,

I hope your all enjoying watching the colorful beauty of the Autumn leaves falling. I just love all these fall colors. After all I am a "fall" person..i.e. I love fall and fall colors are the colors for me to wear as they compliment me.

I'm working hard now on my Fashion clothes display for my buyer. Just unpacked and assembled my large garment rack last night and setting the clothes and things all up, color cordinated and organizing for my "presentation"....which will hopefully be in a few days! Wish me luck! I'm a bit nervous, always get this way before, but she usually loves all my stuff and the way I put it all together. I hope all your weekends are going well. Chat with you soon! Take care everyone....

Happy Autumn with Angel Blessings,

See you soon....

Thursday, October 06, 2005


Yesterday I was out looking for a barstool type chair for the new place I moved into a few months ago. It has a high bar like counter between the kitchen and living room. I went from place to place, finally found myself checking out the Goodwill store here in town. As I was looking around I found myself accidently stepping on something laying on the floor, felt like a a flat piece of wood. I started to take my foot off of it and above my foot saw the word "Dreams". I looked down and saw it was a wood plaque with a painting of the ocean on it and some words to the left of the picture. I picked it up and read what it said. Well, as you see it above you may understand why I knew I was meant to have this plaque...besides it only cost one dollar! I mean I'm always the type person to manage to find all kinds of bargains and deals but this was a "very special deal"!..:o). It seems at times in life that there are no coincidences, that just maybe everything happens for a reason. Sometimes we understand or see this right away....other times it dawns on us down the road a bit later....and we say "ah ha"!...Life is interesting that way isn't it? Keep on "believing in your Dreams" might just be surprised...

P.S. Sorry the words are a bit blurry but scanning a wooden plaque isn't the easiest thing to do!..ha ha..Just click on the pic and hopefully you will be able to read the words then. By the way I never found a barstool but think I found something better!

Monday, October 03, 2005

Romantic Angels....I've been tagged..

Okay, Well I've been tagged by Peg...but couldn't do it correctly "per instructions" since there is no 5th sentence in my 23rd post, for it's one of my drawings, so all thats written in it is "Romantic Angels" in the drawing itself. Isn't it ironic don't you think?...ah Alanis I hear ya!....oooh these little complications..:o)
So I did my best...ok now I am tagging 5 other people..

Jodie "Intuitive innovations"
BC Waterboy
Uncle David (David where have you been?)
Mobil's Jipzee Cab

Follow these instuctions....
1. go into your archive
2. Find your 23rd post
3.Find the 5th sentence (or close to it)
4.Post the text of the sentence in your blog with theses instructions
5. Tag five other people to do the same

Have fun...I think!...its not too much effort...if I can do it maybe anyone no pressure here...


Saturday, October 01, 2005

New Moon/Solar Eclipse 10/03...

Monday is a new moon and with it comes a solar eclipse in Libra. Close relationships and intimacy are going to be at the forefront for the next several weeks. Patience, understanding and compassion will be important during this time. The eclipse won't be total but angular. It will be visible across Europe, Africa and the Middle East. Thanks Jodie for this info. If you want to know more you can go to her blog by just clicking on my link to her "Intuitive Innovations".

Angel Blessings,