Friday, April 15, 2011

America is not the world - Morrissey

This is some good for thought...are our "American heads" to big, too egotistical to angry?

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Life goes on....I have not been able to post comments on others blogs.

Hi, all my dear blog friends.  For some reason I have not been able to post any comments on your blogs for a while now.  I write a comment but then it never goes all the way through the process for some reason.  Hope it's not my computer!  Anyway, I am sorry for not being able to stop by and connect with many of you of late.  I have tried but hopefully I will get this all figured out.

Things are getting better with my former male friend and I since the break up.  When we run into one another (here at our apartment complex) we are able to have casual conversations and say "Hi, how are you doing"?...and such.  So, that is good news for me.  In time this shall improve.  I realize that we can never "be" and yet am not angry with him much anymore...more hurt a bit still but the wounds are better.  I miss all the things we had in common to share about, but just goes to show that you can have everything in common and yet still have "serious issues" due to certain things, unwilling to  really communicate in the most important ways, personalities, great stubbornness and certain issues one has and the way one treats you and such.  None of us are perfect, but I had to make a very  important decision for me, and my life is the better for my decision.   

My sister and I are getting on okay.  She and I can talk and share more and do the "remember when this happened"?...and such..more the funny crazy family stuff when we were kids..but also we are now able to share about the bad and really scary stuff and the constant abuse we had to grow up with.   My sister has a nice boyfriend and I'm getting to know him.   Actually my sister and I met him at a used store he was managing here in town, about a month after my sister moved here.  He helped us put some things into my car, he came out and talked with us.   I just had a  "hunch" they would get they have known one another a little less than a year now. It will be a year come May that she has lived in town and I just can't believe it.  Finally more stability for her in her life. He seems to be a good guy...and he and I get along like a brother and sister.  It's amazing how many "adopted" type brothers I have, ha ha!  I've always wanted to have a brother ever since I was a child and now it's like I've got more than one!  He is a gentlemen (hard to come by these days in the single world believe me!) and we have mutual artist interest.  He is very interested in my artwork and he is starting up a business online and such about art galleries and such.  We will be talking about it more as I am working on showing him all of my artworks in my portfolio.  No rush, no hurry.  I feel good that he will and is treating my sister good.  He is "there" for her...another thing that is hard to come by as a single woman also!  I tell her to not take advantage of it or him and to always appreciate him being there for her.  So far, that has not happened to me in all the 15 years since my divorce....which is why I pretty much learned how to cope and deal with "everything" myself all these's been an uphill battle and it tires me so at times.  But I am a survivor, but continually ask myself why things are still this way for me?  Maybe just accepting that I must push myself constantly in order to survive is what I must do or maybe try somehow to make life more "fun" for me.  I take each day at a time.  I won't ever just "be" with someone for the sake of not wanting to be alone...there has to be something very  "special" there or not at all.  I do find when I stand up for myself or speak up about problems or issues that's when men get upset with me in man woman type relationships...and I am a very sensitive and caring person, so I don't scream or yell,  I always try to communicate what I'm feeling is happening and want to talk about the problem or "issue"...but for some reason that doesn't work with the very view men that I've loved or met in meaningful ways....they walk away...I've met a lot of women who chase men around and even stalk them and I am thinking to myself "my oh my, I guess this is what men like"?...I really haven't a clue at this point.

Love you all,

Love and Peace for this whole crazy world of ours!  We cannot give up on life.  Miracles happen every day.