Saturday, April 24, 2010

When it hurts so bad but you know it's over....

No matter how hard you cut's like a knife....the trust has been broken and taken away....I thought of this song right away. I really love this song and yes the video too...not afraid to admit it....but I do....."hate this part right here"....but I know I've got to get through this and I will. Just another wound that will need time to heal.

**When I download a video the screen shows black for some reason...but once you click on it, the video is there and will play.

Pussycat Dolls song and video, "I hate this part right here". I think Nicole Scherzinger is great...she has a lot of talent and I believe she will go far in her career. She has a beautiful singing voice and writes songs, dances and acts. I hope she wins on "Dancing with the stars". On second thought here, I am also putting another song video in this post. It's a "Foo for fighting" song titled "Inside of me", or "Superman" if you will. I remember many years ago the first time I heard their song "Inside of me", I was driving in my car and it came on the radio. It hit me so hard, the lyrics, the words, that I remember I had to pull over into a parking lot, and I listened to it and tears came streaming down my eyes. It's hard to explain but every time I hear this song it feels like "Me"......what I've gone through, how I can relate to it about myself and my life, my feelings, the struggles, the whole "deal" when you listen to the second video song "Inside of me" (with the lyrics included) just replace the word "man" with "woman" and this song is pretty much they way I've felt for a long time now. I often tire of having to "always be the strong one", so to speak, the strong one "inside"... and have often wondered if I'd ever meet a single man who has some kind of his own "inner strength" and who actually is brave enough and has the courage to "really" face his own fears and move beyond them, in order to"Love" someone, other than himself. Maybe one day I will know what it's like for someone to really see "me" from the "Inside"....and not just how I look on the "outside"...sick of it.....and I'm so tired of the shallowness of only being looked at in this way. On the other hand maybe it's best to stay on my own from now on...because I'm tired of the shallow single men I've met in this world. If they can't see and aren't interested in who I am on the 'Inside" and only like what they see on the "outside" the "exterior me", then forget it...."asta la vista baby"....I feel cursed.


Muhd Imran said...

Hello dear friend.

I feel sad to learn of this "wound" you have and endure the pain while you it time to heal.

I believe it's tough to make one see and accept the real you because you have to break open all defences to let one in to see it all.

It will be equally tough to let that person to do the same so that we are able to see the real him or her and for us to accept as well.

Getting to know each other, even after knowing the real persons that we are, will need consistent effort & honesty to manage & sustain... with a lot of comprises.

It is only my two cents take on relationship as I had gone through with mine & am still learning... Making mistakes from time to time but definitely learning to be better without losing my identity. I'm fortunate to have found Wifey who accepts me with all my flaws too.

I hope you are well and adjusting. I know you are strong and hate for me to mention it but you are. There is that someone out there for you. I believe it and I wish the best for you. You're inspirational.

Take care.

Lydia said...

O, Rhi. I am so sorry for your hurt. You sure put it right out there to be you, and by others. I love your capacity to know yourself and to tell us...sometimes by showing us in a song...about who you are. If some guy failed to understand all that then I agree you are better off alone for now. Don't think of it as forever. And, in fact, don't even think of it as being alone...because you have friends who are right there in thought. I am one of them.

Rhiannon said...

Thanks Muhd and Lydia...for your thoughts and your moral support and's not easy of late..I do feel down but I'll get through this.

At the least I hope he and I can be friends or at least aquaintances in the near future...or say our polite "hello's" at least when bumping into one another..because we both live here and he is just one floor up and around the corner from me! It feels weird right now.

Love and Blessings,


Beach Bum said...

Hope you feel better Rhia. All I can say is the old line from a 80's Rock and Roll song:

Love sucks.