Tuesday, March 09, 2010

It's my Birthday on Thursday, March 11th....




Well, it's another year "wiser" or at least maybe "happier" that's for sure. March 11th is my Birthday (same day every year yep!) and it sure will be a much more different kind of Birthday than my last 11 Birthdays! My life has really gone through so many changes in this last year or so. Most of those changes have been good and Happy changes...with a lot going on and so much business to take care of and a lot of accomplishments I've made. It's not been easy but so far I'm making it through. I've met a lot of new people in the apartment complex where I live and have made a lot of new friends here. I haven't had many close friends for so long now that this is quite different for me. I've always been pretty much a loner (not always by choice) and so now I find myself with more friends than I can even handle! I know that's a funny thing to say, but it can be overwhelming for me. I have to go rest and have my space and "Quiet" time in between. But it sure is a nice and blessed feeling that the people around me here, actually care about me and do nice things and are so kind and caring...all of them disabled and struggling in their own lives also. We seem to have a "connection" of understanding of what it's like, not being the healthiest people around and living in utter poverty...yet because of these things we all seem to appreciate one another and the most important things in life. Like kindness, compassion, the beautiful days, the beautiful clouds, the trees blooming, the changes in seasons, taking nice walks, laughter, talking and sharing and caring. I feel like I belong here...for the first time in my life I seem to just fit right in....though we are all different here and have different stories to tell, we all know the fear and the feeling of trying to survive on our own for many years, without close families "there" for us. We are "wounded warriors" and we are "survivors". Everyone is pretty tolerant of one another...accepting our differences and actually even appreciating and learning from one another because of them. However in this town itself that is not the way it is! So I feel very blessed to be living here in this New York city type "enclosed" 3 story apartment complex, it's like our very own "little small town"...when people come to the apartment complex to visit to see you, they stand outside and "beep" your apartment "code" so your phone rings and you push a number and "buzz" them in...I love this! It's so cool and makes me feel pretty safe here also.

My sweetie here is a liberal democrat and a "one world" type person like me...many others here are not, yet finally I'm around people that accept me just as I am. It's nice to know I have a very close friend who loves and understands me because he is so much like me...it's almost like he could be the male version of my twin!...our opinions and interest are so much the same...I don't think I've ever met anyone let alone a man where we can connect on so many levels. It used to scare me at first, but now I am really appreciating that we can share so much together. Yet, also he and I are very different in a few ways...which I think is good. He has his strengths and I have mine....they are very different. He seems to be proud of what I've done and who I am and also accepts me as I am. Getting through the "trust" issues is one day at a time for me and I know he knows that. I like his confidence within himself and that he takes such good care of himself, that he works out and loves to walk all the time. He is so strong he doesn't know his own strength. Got solid muscle mass because he has works out and walked so much through the years. I love that he is in touch with his feminine side also. Not only did he watch Pride and Prejudice with me upon one of our first get togethers...but afterwards he went out and bought his own DVD of it and has watched it quite a few times already! Now I am sharing all the Jane Austin movies with him and also the Bronte sisters books. Next is Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights. He absolutely loves this stuff! Wow! He paints beautiful Native American paintings with bright orange hues and deep deep blues and light blues...very vivid beautiful paintings of the land with the horses and animals and also the Native American Indians....he blends them in as "ghost spirits" into the nature. When he saw all the Native American Art that I like and all of the Native American spiritual ways that I love and my dream catchers and such..then he showed me all of the beautiful bow and arrows that he carved and made himself through the years. He used to have a shop where he sold them. We share all the books we have and have read. He has a regular library going on in his place! He, like me has traveled and lived in many different places throughout his life so we both have grown and learned a lot wherever we have been or lived...we both have experienced much....but we both don't have any children and we both are not close with our families...not necessarily by "choice"...we have been "loners" our whole lives. He shares with me about his travels riding on his big Harley bike through the country in the 70's. Yes, he used to be a "Biker" guy! Now he is a clean cut, smart and very creative artistic man...always has been an "artsy" kind of man. He loves decorating and so much more. He can cook! Now it looks like we might be "loners" together....that really is special to me. He is a gentlemen and I am a lady....but we are wild and crazy and sure laugh a lot all the time...together. He is also my best friend. I get scared sometimes it seems to "good to be true" ...and part of me wants to "run" because of things that have happened to me in the past...very bad things....but for now I feel so blessed and grateful to have a "life" now.....maybe he and I had to go through all we did for so long, being our own best friends and surviving on our own so that we could reach this point in time...to meet one another..."now"...

So, this Birthday will be very special to me. I've a lot to be grateful for...which is the best "Gift" in the world...that anyone could ask for! For the first time I am not always "alone" and yet I know who I am and I know how to handle myself out in the world. And so does he. If I had not been on my own all these many years than I don't think I would have known and learned how to handle "life" out in this scary world of ours...facing fears constantly...walking through the fires of "life"....and so now I gladly receive the "Gift" of love and friendship.

Thank you all for being my dear blog friends. You are all so far away but always in my heart. I know many do the "Facebook" deal a lot now and I just won't do that as it drives me nuts to have "too many "Friends" and do that to myself....that world moves way "too fast" for my tastes. Instead, I will stick to my "ole blog" that is "me"...and even if not very many come to my blog much anymore I will still always be here...

Love and Blessings,

Rhiannon

10 comments:

Lydia said...

You wrecked my surprise birthday wish to you on the 11th! I have your birthday written on my calendar on the fridge so I knew it was coming up. I cannot say how happy I am for you Rhi, for all the things you told in this post. I really do believe you are the most worthy of happiness person I know, and also you are the most full of gratitude.

I absolutely know what you mean about being overwhelmed by friends. And in my case that extends to family, one cousin who I have hurt deeply by not replying to her long letter last year and whose birthday was Monday and I failed to carve out the time to place a call to her (an email was simply out of the question). It takes a lot to keep up with everyone and you and I share that cellular hermit need for alone time to repair. I don't think there is anything wrong with that!

Your gentleman sound perfect for you...close to perfect in general! Again, you deserve the love of this man. And he is a lucky guy to have you as his lady. I am totally thrilled for both of you. Have a happy happy birthday celebrating with him.

(I'm sure you still have lots of readers, even if they are also on Facebook. Your blog is a special place and you are special to me.)

Carolyn said...

Hi Rhi! I have kept the thought of your birthday in March in my mind and wanted to be sure to come wish you a big Happy Happy Birthday of all Birthdays! And I am a day early now, aren't I? LOL!

I am so happy also that you and your fellow are doing well and the connection you have is even stronger than the last time I heard from you. You certainly do deserve this happines and to find a gentleman who treats a lady such as yourself with the respect and kindness you deserve, and offer you his friendship and love and support on top of it. I am so happy for you! That is like the cherry on top of your birthday cake :-)

So I wish for you that tomorrow brings you loads of special surprises and tons of continual happiness my friend! And have an extra piece of cake for me :-D

P.S. The winter blahs had me put my blog on 'hold.' I hope to pick it up again soonish ;-)

Muhd Imran said...

!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!

It is wonderful to know that you are very happy and with someone special to be happy for and with. Life is wonderful!

Have a great birthday celebration and a blissful weekend!

Kylita said...

SisSTAR Rhi xoxoxo
The Happiest Birthday Ever, my dear Friend far away but ever so near to my Heart!!! I have little time to write but I hope you have gotten my card on time and that you know how special you are to me and how happy I am for you... and Mr. Wonderful ;oD
Love,
SisSTAR
xo

Rhiannon said...

Thank you my lovely lady blog friends and my dear blog friend Muhd for the wonderful kind comments on my Birthday.

yes, SisStar Kylita I got you special Birthday card right on my Birthday..perfect timing. Love what you said in it and the nice cards you sent me with them..love them!

I had a wonderful Birthday with lots of greeting cards and special present from my friends here. Woke up to my "Gentlemen" friend singing to me "Happy Birthday to you"...as I clicked on his phone message and laughed at how cute he sounded singing to me. So sweet. He got a chocolate cake for me and I blew out two candles and made a special wish.

Thank you Lydia and Carolyn for your sweet comments...and your right..I do now realize that I do deserve to be happy...we all do.

Love Always,

Rhi

goatman said...

Ta DA DA DA Dear Rhi girl TA DA DA DA DEE DEEEE !!!!!!!!!!

Your mention of how you ring in the visitors reminds me of my old granny in Northern Minnesota circa 1950's: when the phones were put in each was assigned a different series of beeps to identify the person being called (hers was ring, ring, ring). But everyone on the phone system heard the beeps when they occurred so everyone knew who was being called. This led to a lot of "listening in" to others' conversations and everyone knew everyone elses business; but I suspect that each also knew that they were being listened to.
This is how electronic gossip first developed prior to the advent of texting!
I am happy that you have found a person to be with; and a place to rest with beautiful people around.

Michael Manning said...

Hello Rhiannon and Happy Belated Birthday. I like the optimism and new life inherent in your words. Wonderful! Take good care and hope your special day was fun with smiles!!!

Kylita said...

Oh, Rhi, thanks for visiting my blog and comments and just had to let you know I LOVE!!! your new blue color! True Blue ;oD
Hope your weekend is going very beautifully.
Hakunamatata!!! ;o)
I love you, Dear Friend xoxo

Beach Bum said...

Happy belated birthday Rhi!

Ardi K said...

Glad I touched in, and that all is well with you. You deserve the best, as you have touched many with your art, poetry and love. Thank you.