In between the moments
where love has come and gone
I've felt the grace of surrender
through my tears
almost a release
of what has gone by
in my life......
There's been times
I've continously asked "Why, why, why"?
to be oppressed and denied
my own thoughts and feelings
by others naive "assumptions"
"Judgements" and "lectures" of me....
when they Know Me Not!
Nor will they ever it appears...
I got your letter late last night mother.....
After reading your evil sick twisted
fundamental baptist bullshit of "denial"
I printed it out last night
and then ripped it into pieces
and threw it into the trash
trying to get rid of the pain....
I tried to "rise above" this so many times
that I should be elevating above the floor
at this point....
I "allowed" you to lay it on me "again"....
But it still hurt all through the night
and part of me cried inside
"I am your daughter! You have a daughter you haven't seen or known in over 25 years"!!
"You know me Not"!....and you never will...this I accept.....I must...in order to heal....I must..
But waking up this morning that "Wound" still had reopened
and started to fester again.....
so I pulled all the ripped up pieces of your letter
out of the trash, put them all together
knelt down on them
and surrendered you and your letter
up to higher power
the God of my understanding
and the Angels
and to Spirit
much more powerful and forgiving forces
and I said
"I leave this, my mother and family (by blood)
in your hands to take care of
in whatever way you chose fit to handle it
I surrender to higher power with trust".
"For I chose to no longer carry a burden
that is not mine to bare and never was to begin with".
Then I bunched all the ripped up pieces of the letter in my hand
and had a "Ceremonial Burning".
I put them in a ceramic bowl
and watched the pieces of your letter
burn into ashes...into "oblivion and beyond".
You Know Me Not!
Written by Rhiannon (Barbara R.) July 2009
"It's a real long way to go, to say good-bye,
I thought we already did that, so long tell the world...
well I'll make it, yes, I'm going to make it, one more time..
Well, I made up my mind...I won't be calling
because I think about the heartbroken ones...
oh no you are fading out...
Well I can do it
Well I can make it
yes, I can make it
one more time..
yes, you are fading now
Well it's been a real long way to go
to say good-bye
I thought we already said that
so have fun and tell the world....
Yes, you are fading now...
I'm going to make it..
yes, I'm going to make it
one more time..
oh, yes you are fading now...
so long and tell the world.
*Lyrics above "Long Way To Go" written and sung by Stevie Nicks
*The pic above is of one of my favorite Artist, Native American Indian , Robert Mirabal.
He is a musician, singer, writer, storyteller, dancer, flute maker, and actor*