I just recently saw this movie, "Must love Dogs". I loved it, made me laugh I could so relate. It was refreshing to see a movie being "real" about the online dating stuff going on and yet making a farce of it at the same time. Actress Diane Lane plays the main character, who's sister puts her profile on "Perfectmatch.com" without telling her. Watching it I thought to myself "Wow, she's meeting the exact same type men(I've lost count through the years how many I've met this way) for coffee and also dated same ones I did"!..LMAO!.. It really was so much like my dating online experiences and the lies, players and things they do, like post fake photos, some not even them, or post a photo thats about 15 years old! I mean do they not realize that when (if) you meet them, your going to see that suddenly they have aged 15-20 years within a few weeks! Best just to be "real". It was good to laugh about it seeing another woman go through the same deal, made me feel better I wasn't the only one that thought this way and felt this way about it. Though it was just a movie I felt it really made a "clear" statement about all these so called "professional" online dating services.
I loved it when she was on one blind(meeting) date for lunch, she finally couldn't take it anymore and readjusted her dates "toupee" so it was on straight!..:o) Her and I had a lot in common, divorced, no kids, but working with kids, and living on our own. The main thing we didn't have in common was she had a loving family around her (but they were match making and pressuring her to do online dating) and her father was such a caring father and funny, because he was doing online dating also! She found herself being thrown into this "culture shock" of the "new dating system world"! She was clueless like I was too! I'm not anymore. She said so many things I felt about relationships and the whole dating online deal and about dating in general the way its changed so. Then she met "Jake" (again, his friend forced him to try online dating) a guy who was actually a "real" man, his own person didn't play the game, but she didn't realize that at first and almost blew it...and so did he. I liked that they both made mistakes, were uncomfortable, nervous, showed it and told each other they were. Real type human beings! Of course how could you not like Jake when the actor playing him was John Cusak?!...:-)
I have learned two things from professional online dating sites. Their advice usually DOESN'T work! But two do. If you meet for coffee or lunch the first time and your date is rude, or "dismissive" of the waitress or waiter, move on! "Timeline"...if the e-mails keep dragging out for a month or longer and only a phone call or two and there is no talk of meeting soon, they just "aren't that into you" or their lazy and afraid, and are waiting for you to make all the effort and chase them!..so "Move on"!...Takes two to tango not one! Or you could take one last "risk" at it and subtley send them a nice message that you've enjoyed the e-mail communications but don't want to do "e-mails forever", and would like to "talk and meet sometime soon"?..if you get no response or just more e-mails, then "move on"!!..lol. Or if you realize your not "into them" and nothing is "happening" best let them know ASAP and move on! Don't make them waste their energy and time, or yours. The 3rd and 4th advice is my own. 3rd... If you think they are a nice guy and you would like to be friends with them and you tell them this, and they tell you yeah they could be your friend don't believe them! Thats not what they want! They are lying! 4th... If they give you their phone number via e-mail and tell you to "call them"...MOVE ON! If they say something like "I've enjoyed our communcations or chats, I was wondering would you be willing to give me your phone numnber, I'd really like to call and talk with you" then STAY PUT!...he he..:-)
Sigh..I so wish that people in real life near by or when your out and about in the "real" world would just do what they used to. Talk to you start a converstation or you start one, and you take it from there! Fear and all I've done it! Even though I'm a bit shy and I'm not a forward type woman at all. I've seen men look terrified not knowing what to do! Why? Then I feel stupid! Only later to find out they did like me but didn't know how to talk or approach women anymore in "real life"!..eeeeerrrrr.. What a concept hey, actually approaching someone?! Now its all backwards to me I don't get it! Hey better than hiding behind computers! I just don't fit into this "phony" online dating stuff. I hate it! This year I'm making some changes about "me".. ..not sure exactly in detail I just know I'm going to take things as they come along and keep being "me"....
"Must love someone who's real and not fake"!...that would be my online profile title, if I were to ever try it again, because I stopped online dating stuff last March and not sure if I will ever "get into it" again...if somethings meant to happen it will...got to trust in that and not pay some stupid so called "professional" online dating service..including E. Harmony..Not!
This is the "the other side of Rhiannon" and I'm showing her to you now! If you don't like what I say well its been my experiences thus far, so its only my opinion. Except for my one year relationship with someone 5 years ago who I met IN PERSON(not online) in REAL LIFE and our eyes met and that was it! When he said "well now how I am going to talk with you again"? I looked into his eyes, smiled at him and said "Oh, your a big boy I'm sure you'll figure it out".....:-)....then he asked me for my ph.#...and it went on from there! Maybe I shouldn't have given it to him after the way we broke up?..I'm still confused!..LOL!..:-)
I've never dated or met but one man my age since single. They have all been younger than me....I used to ask myself why but it just is what is....the man I was married to was younger than me also. Its just that men my age (or older) have NEVER contacted or approached me (via online dating or in person) but I wish they would in a way.
Signed Confused but learning,