Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy Valentines Day to All...



This poem below is dedicated to all my blog friends...a poem I wrote from my blog archive. I hope you all have a lovely Valentines day.

As for me Valentines Day has always been a very difficult day each year for me. Special memories through the many years with my former soulmate...Valentines day being his Birthday, our first date, the day he had proposed to me...and plus Valentines Day!..all rolled into one...Try as I might, those wonderful memories through those years of our very special "Day" brings tears to my heart. Those memories will always be with me, much as I've tried to delete them from my memory...I am unable to...along with the bad memories of what happened towards the last year of our marriage...it was kind of like one of those women "Liftetime" TV movies...if you know what I mean? I felt as if I was in some kind of a bizarre nightmare, a bad dream. He turned into a different person a different man..he was no longer who I knew him to be. He was cruel, hurtful and it devastated my heart...during that time...at least those cruel memories of what he and his new girlfriend did to me "on purpose" for whatever sick vindictive reason they may have had during that time..well at least those memories are not fresh in my mind and heart. Times like these special days, you wish you could have a "delete" button to erase the wonderful and the cruel memories from your heart and mind forever.

But then again all of the lessons and what had happened and has happened to me since those many years ago have taught me much about myself. I am a dedicated, loving, trustworthy woman..and always will be...regardless of what others think of me...or mock me for being faithful and true to my heart...I shall always remain with my integrity, dignity and who I am in my soul, still intact.. I know I am a survivor!. But I'd like more in life than just that. I know I deserve better. But still scared as h** to be able to trust and be vulnerable with someone...without them taking advantage or the time to get to know and accept "me" as I will or " would" them. I know that "special someone" will need to be very patient and understanding with me..I've got a long road to go...but the path looks a bit clearer now. And if it never happens, I know who I am and that somehow I will be just fine on my own...as I have been for the last 11 years...with a few relationships here and there in between and an engagement 7 years ago that failed because it just wasn't meant "to be".

I know my heart can open...but only when I know it can and not have it ripped up in the process. I hope you enjoy the romantic poem. I'm a Pisces and a Chinese astrology Rabbit...with Leo rising!...so that pretty much says it all!...:o)

Angelic Blessings,

Rhiannon


Velvet Petals


Two souls mending
and blending
on a path of roses
scattered along
the beds of dawn...
Blending in essence
of hearts opening..
Petals softly fall
delicately touching the ground...
Dewdrop,
a soul with a tear
glistening on velvet....

*Copyrights owned by Rhiannon (Barbara) November 2005*

8 comments:

Burfica said...

very beautiful and happy Valentines to a wonderful friend!!!!

Devika said...

Nice one, Rhi

Happy Valentine's Day,
(I am late, though)

wishes,
devika

RiverSoul said...

Belated, but happy valentine's day, to you, Rhi,
:)
And to everyone lucky enough to have someone who cares for you, and to all those who's valentines just live on in their memories, faded, darkened yet fresh.

Muhd Imran said...

You are a survivor. An inspiration. Bright and strong, yet tender and beautiful. An awesome combination blessed upon you.

Have a wonderful weekend. HAPPY VALENTINE'S.

Rhiannon said...

Thank you everyone...and thank you Muhd for your comment above me...you may not know it but it's just what I needed to hear about right now..it made me feel better...thanks for the encouragement.

Love and Blessings to all of you,
Hope all your "V" days were good..."as it gets"...hey that's a movie! One of my favorites.."As good as it gets"...remember that one?

Rhi

Carolyn said...

Very elegantly written. Belated happy Valentines to you Rhi. My cable's been out or I'd have made it sooner :)

Lisa Allender said...

Hope you are doing well. You will heal, as you are an expressive writer. Continued success, Rhiannon.
btw, I posted comments at your "Shoes" post, and your "Kate Bush" post.

Bridget Jones said...

Sorry I'm late, Rhi, and what a wonderful post. I'm so sorry that you experienced this, but it helped make you who you are and that is fantastic.

It's their/his loss.

Sending you lots of love and healing thoughts....BJ (((((hugs)))))