Sunday, June 21, 2009

Fathers Day Requital...thoughts about my father..

Am I to spend my life
facing my fears?
yet unable still to shed
any tears?...

No rest for the weary
and now
Father's Day
is here.....
only another reminder
of the things
in life
that I hold so dear
have never
really been
nor here
for me...
my existence
is in a wide space of time
yet crowded
in eternity
with the endless

I yearn oh how I yearn
to set you free
to let me be
to be removed
far from your memory
and the lack of love
and care...
but this day
only reminds me
each and every year
no matter
how hard I try
I'm still unable
to shed a tear...

I await for this day
to be over
and done
all the celebrations
of love and fun...
I admit
like the song says
"She's come undone"....

I'm not your "Baby Doll"
and I never was
I hate your old refrain
no matter what you said or say
it's always been the same...
because you know
I would never play
your hurtful hateful games...

Written by Rhiannon (Barbara) June 21st, 2009
@copyrights owned by Barbara
** Sorry SisStar Kylita, I know I'm a member of the "SisStar" of the C.O.D.E (childless orphaned daugthers evolving) but I'm hoping what I wrote in this post is just part of my "evolving"...a learning growing process as we both know.**


Lydia said...

Dear Rhi,
Oh, how I do understand the angst of Father's Day and I really appreciate your heartfelt poem. It's important that you wrote it and shared it.

We hadn't discovered one another's blogs this time last year so you probably haven't read a poem I posted about my father last Father's Day. It helped a lot to get it out there.

David E. Patton said...

Rhi soooy that it took time to read you kind commit but for the last two weeks I was hikinh in the CO. Rocky. Thank you for your kind words it does the heart good. mDavid

Kylita said...

Oh, SisSTAR Rhi, you never need to apologize for your evolutionary voyage ... and this poem is very meaningful. Not all things are "Hallmark perfect" ... and it's best to recognize and affirm what is truly yours. You have often had to be your own father and mother ... and you are doing better all the time. We have an elite organization, eh? Again, no need to ever apologize. When I think of your parents' losses of not knowing who you really are, I myself can cry on your behalf.

euan said...

This moved me much.

Bawstongirl2010 said...

i spent most of my entire life thinking that my dad didn't understand me or know how to love me. true, he had a different way, but in the end, i understood - it was i who wanted everything that was always right before me. it was i who was to scared to reach for him and let him in. from afar we watched each other...yet some how...i think we both knew each other more then unspoken words.

i hope you are doing better now that father's day has passed. your words continue to inspire me to move forward daily. thank you.

love yeah.


Muhd Imran said...

This poem moves me. I am so sorry that it hurts.

It seems a waste for him not to see that beautiful soul you possess. You turned out great and beautiful in spite of it all.

You inspire me with your many talents and beautiful writings.