Fathers Day Requital...thoughts about my father..

Am I to spend my life
constantly
facing my fears?
yet unable still to shed
any tears?...

No rest for the weary
and now
Father's Day
is here.....
only another reminder
of the things
in life
that I hold so dear
have never
really been
there
nor here
for me...
my existence
is in a wide space of time
yet crowded
in eternity
with the endless
timeless
rhymes....

I yearn oh how I yearn
to set you free
to let me be
to be removed
far from your memory
and the lack of love
and care...
but this day
only reminds me
each and every year
no matter
how hard I try
I'm still unable
to shed a tear...

I await for this day
to be over
and done
observing
all the celebrations
of love and fun...
yes...
I admit
like the song says
"She's come undone"....

I'm not your "Baby Doll"
and I never was
I hate your old refrain
because....
no matter what you said or say
it's always been the same...
because you know
I would never play
your hurtful hateful games...


Written by Rhiannon (Barbara) June 21st, 2009
@copyrights owned by Barbara

** Sorry SisStar Kylita, I know I'm a member of the "SisStar" of the C.O.D.E (childless orphaned daugthers evolving) but I'm hoping what I wrote in this post is just part of my "evolving"...a learning growing process as we both know.**