Thinking of my Dad a lot this week. It would have been his Birthday. Hard to believe it's been a year now since he died. Dad, hope your at peace, wherever your soul and spirit may be. Maybe your a twinkling star in the night sky. Maybe another life, another time? Or maybe your one of my guardian angels now? Because I have felt your presence many times in the last year. Wrapping a warm light of protection around your daughter? Who's living a life she doesn't want at all and feels so trapped. Who wants to feel that there is some way out of this hellhole I have found myself in for so long now. Dad, don't worry you taught me how to be a survivor, I won't give up. But I don't want to just survive, and stay alive Dad. I want to "Live" and to have a real "Life" that brings contentment, meaning and joy.
I wish I could talk to you Dad. Well, maybe I will, and you will hear me. Wherever you may be.
I will always love you forever, Dad. I know you were not a perfect Father or parent. But I also know that you were "always" the only one in our family, that truly understood and "Got me". I remember our long "talks" as a child and when I was growing up. I should have told you all of this, when you were still present, here on earth. I have such regrets that I did not get to tell you this. I hope that you know, that I will never forget you Dad and thank you for being the one person in our family that understood "me". I think I understood "you" more than anyone else in our family too. Maybe both of us being sensitive Pisces might have something to do with it? We had a connection. Not perfect by far. But while growing up I had this with you. I am so grateful that I did. Maybe if I had not, I wouldn't still be around? So thanks Dad.