And so now they tell me that I have permanent brain damage
I got the test results
and it will not improve
I guess I've known this for a while
as I've felt my cognitive skills
and my inability to multi-task deteriorate
I've felt my brain
not able to send the right signals
to my body from time to time
so I tried to wish the problem away
the numbness in my limbs
the great fatigue
I thought it was just stress
of living on survival mode for so long
now I know better.....
and so now I must once again
continue to be strong in spirit
to await the diagnosis
of one of the three
MS, Brain Trauma injury
or a few strokes
I might of had in the last 5 years
without even realizing it..
But you know what?
I think I figured something out
Yes, things are and will change
for me in a big way
yes, my life will change
and it already has
but I will adapt
and I know in my heart
that I still "got it"
the creativity of being a right brainer
the poems, the art
that still works!
that's a miracle
and I also have people in my life now
that are actually there for me
to give me loving support
for being without a family
and on my own for so long
this in itself is the "Miracle"
people that love and care about me...
I'm slowly finding my way
and that in itself is healing..
I'm going to be okay
and I'm going to get through this
to the other side of my spirit
that calls and beckons to me
to continue on the path
of the "True Test of Miracles"
I surrender in the knowledge
of acceptance with imperfect grace.
Written by Rhiannon Oct.9th, 2008 *copyrights owned by Rhiannon (Barbara R.)*