Dreamweaver

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 Useless Struggle                                                     

It's senseless
and useless
to try to talk
to a wall
to speak my truth
will be my downfall
I'll never hear 
the last of it
I'm entitled 
to my opinion
but beware
their going to throw
a hissy fit
but if I do
why even dare?
Because don't you know?
they always
think their right
it is not for me
to stand up
for what 
I believe in?
for it could 
start a fight
a battle
a war
you can 
continue
 to ask
what for?
why are you always
keeping score?
Endless tirade
of subjective matter
twisted
into
a confusing
constant chatter...

Does being far right
mean you are
always right?
and what part
of surrender
would make
you more vulnerable
or more kind
and tender?

Subject matter: Trump winning the election for President and my feelings about him winning to my "Blood relative family" but at this point they are no longer my family...they are bigots, angry, hateful, arrogant, so called "Far right Christians" (shame on them)and for the last time I had to let go! No one can't say I didn't try...but tired of not being able to be "me" and how they want to keep trying to change me into "them"...when you can't be yourself around your own family, then it's time to say "Good-bye".. All my adult life I have yearned to be loved by my blood relative family not for who they want me to be..but for who I am..it won't happen. I broke the cycle, I am the black sheep I am the "Truthseeker"..and because of this I am not loved nor accepted for who I am..even though I have tried with everything in me to accept who they are...it's got to be a two way street. Imagine what it's like to have your family only love you "conditionally" and never unconditionally.....sucks and hurts like hell! My family is completely "emotionally repressed" and I am not! It's much to hard to try to communicate for real with emotionally repressed people! They are so shut down. They just hate that I'm not....sad..

Written by Rhiannon (Barbara R.) copyrights November 2016